Rocket Raccoon: A Doctorate For Life
by Eogrus
Summary: Rocket wants to be rich, so he wants to be a doctor. Will he succeed in this endeavor of morally grey intentions?


Rocket was very bored. Making weapons got boring real fast, he wanted to exert dominance and power through riches. But he didn't have any, his pockets were full of spiderwebs and devil lancelets of passion and tribadism. Quill also didn't let him steal anymore, and he only agreed because he was his booty (sex).

"Guys, what should I do to be rich?"

"You can become a doctor, Rocket, for doctors are always rich, because they work with life" said Dax philosophically.

"What!? That'll take years!"

"I am Groot" said Groot (it was translated as "Thou shalt go to Planet X, then, for there ye can make an universitary degree within the whimless span of a week")

"Really?"

"I and...GRUT!" ("Yeah, really")

So Rocket left a letter for Quill telling him he'd fuck his ass a week latter, and went to Groot's home planet. It was much better than he imagined, there were trees everywhere and nothing else. Everyone could only speak "I am Groot" because their vocal cords were rigid and stiff, but Rocket understood Groot very well so he understood everyone else too.

"I am Groot!" said a walking palm tree ("So ye desire to be a doctor?")

"How do you know?"

"I am Groot." ("I'm psychiatric, I can read people's minds.")

"Oh, that makes sense. So, when do we start?"

"I am Groot!" ("Right...NOW!")

So Rocket followed the tree. They went into a big university made of wood, that said "High Evolutionary" on the front. They went to a class room that was empty, but full of syringes and other strange things like fleshlights.

"I am Groot?" ("What kind of doctor do you want to be?")

Rocket thought a bit.

"Orthodontologist."

"I am Groot." ("Then our lesson will begin!")

"Wait, right now?"

"I am Groot!" ("Put this blindfold on, I will grant to you the knowledge of orthodontics!")

Before Rocket could protest, the tree put a blindfold on his eyes, and he imediately felt very calm and contemplative. Visions of jaw diagrams and teeth began to appear in his Ajna chakra.

"Oh, I see now!"

The tree then took out it's pants and revealed it's mouldy, lichen covered erection leaking honey-like nectar, sap and ambaric xylem, completely perforated by termites and maggots. As Rocket gaped at the wonders of orthodontics, the tree put it's cock in his mouth, which instinctively began to suckle because the taste reminded of mother's milk, with honey. Rocket was still entranced by the images of orthodontology, yet he began to drool a lot, beads of saliva and other fluids dribbling down the raccoon's mouth, which aroused the tree more.

"I am Groot!" ("Oh yeah, suck it faggot!")

Rocket didn't listen because he was still watching the orthodontics display, so the tree began to thrust harder and harder. Then, with a thrust, it entered Rocket's throat and began to fuck it, the raccoon opening his mouth to breathe more easily, letting a torrent of sexual vegetarian fluids flood his shirt, all in blissful unawareness. A few more thrusts, and the tree ejaculated his whorestick fluids down Rocket's throat, which was very healthy because it had a lot of vitamins and antioxydants. Several maggots were swallowed too, because the termites are racial supremacists, and Rocket much subconsciously liked. Then the tree withrew, leaving Rocket to gasp for breath in a sexy and whoreful way, which aroused him even more, so he rubbed his penis on the raccoon's nostrils until he came again, covering Rocket's face in pollen. He then got dressed up again, laughing evilly at his misdeeds.

"I am Groot!" ("You can take the blindfold now!")

Rocket did, and didn't notice what happened, because all the fluids in his mouth were either swallowed or flowed down his chin,, or got stuck in his fur and covered by pollen, making it undetectible. All that remained was a pleasant mint flavour. The tree then went to fetch a diploma and handed it to Rocket.

"I am Groot." ("Here, there's you PHD. You are a fully fledged orthodontologist, recognised as such in all quadrants of the universe.")

"Wow really, so fast like that?"

"I am Groot." ("Yes, though you will need to make several more visits to learn more... when my wife is not around...")

Rocket shook hands with the professor (not noticing him couping a feel of his ass), and head back to the Milano. Everyone was celebrating his doctorate, drinking booze and having sex with prostitutes full of AIDS.

"So how does it feel to be able to help so many peoples lives?" asked Gomorrah consequently.

"Very good, actually. I wanted to be a doctor for the money, but now I feel more rich than ever!"

Everyone cheered and hugged. But suddenly, there was a knock outside.

"Who could it be?" asked Quill, dumping a whore out of his shoulders.

Then the compartment opened, and an evil laugh came from it.

"Rocket, you thinks you can fuck your way to the top, but I will show you what a real doctor is!" cackled evilly...DOCTOR ANGST!

"Who the fuck ARE YOU!?" shouted Gamora hatefully, she did not like clothed men.

"I was defeated by the hateful duck called Howard, but that matters not! Rocket, there can only be one doctor in this quadrant, and it isn't you!" cried Doxtor Angst meanly and sarcastically.

He then used his powers to create cum-filled mannequins to attack, but Rocket his his knowledge of orthodontics to mess his teeth! Doctor Angst's gums began to bleed, then his canines began to rotate out.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YOU SHITTY RACCOON SHIT YOU ARE CHEATTTTTTTTIIIINNG!"

"Shut the fuck up and die already" said Rocket, he was very upset because his knowledge was being used for evil.

Then he elongated Doctor Angst's maxilla, creating a dork overbite. But he shouldn't have been more careless, the mannequins began to dump toxic cum into his friends!

"AAAAAAHHHHHH MY FACE IT'S A RAT'S ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!" cried Star-Lord, his mascara running down his faces like limpid tears.

"Grrrrrrr let them go Doctor Angst, this is between you and ME!" shouted Rocket ANGRILY, ripping out his upper jaw.

Doctor Angst cried in pain, but got a bonner because he was a pig for pain. Rocket got very horny, so he stripped the Doctor's pants and revealed his deliciously hotness two inch circumcised erection, which he licked and sucked with much pleasure. Doctor Angst's cries of pain became pleasurable moans, and he began to produce a lot of precum, that awashed away the sap and pollen and filled Rocket's face with delicious manliness sex. Rocket then took out his pants, lubbed his ass, and threw Doctor Angst to the ground, sitting on his power penis and shoving it into his dark depths of mistery.

"Oh Rocket, I'm about to cum!" cried Dctor Angst, and he did, filling his bowels with hot wizard spunk. Then he died.

"Like they say, orgasm is the one true death" cackled Rocket, "But I'm still horny."

"You can do with us whatever you want, Doctor Rocket" moned Quill suavely.

Then the Guardians of the Glaxy had a foursome, and went on to save billions of lives via orthodontic practise.


End file.
